I'm too busy cooking...

Literally Theatre Popcorn

I'd not normally go out of my way to make a whole-ass "recipe" for this, but once I had it I had to share it, and having this on hand will make doing so easier. There's a bunch of sites out there with how to make your own theatre popcorn at home and if they don't have Flavacol in them they are LYING to you. Flavacol and Coconut Oil. That's fuckin IT - literally follow the instructions on the carton, and a single carton will last you a lifetime (1/2 tsp PER SERVING!), and it tastes PERFECT.

Flavocol and coconut oil